Self Portrait with a Crab
These images come from a book titled Self Portrait with a Crab. The book is a compilation of journals and artwork created during the six weeks that I was going through chemotherapy treatment for testicular cancer.
Before the chemotherapy was to begin, I made a decision that I would draw my own portrait once a day for the entire period of the treatment. It was a scary thing to be getting chemotherapy and drawing is an activity that I gain strength from. I was curious about the physical effects that chemo might have on my appearance. What would I look like if my hair fell out? A series of self-portraits seemed like a good way to begin my healing and give some time and thought to who I am and where I am going in the world.
At the beginning I was uncertain if I would be well enough to complete such an ambitious task. Would the effects of chemo make me too sick to paint? The doctor had assured me that I would be able to work during the six weeks of treatment, but I was very anxious going into it. Nevertheless, I felt it would be helpful to have something to focus my energies on. In reflection it was a good decision. My nature is somewhat restless and without a task to anchor me, I could have easily drifted from one thing to the next.
Doug E. L. Haynes - August 18, 2006
Before the chemotherapy was to begin, I made a decision that I would draw my own portrait once a day for the entire period of the treatment. It was a scary thing to be getting chemotherapy and drawing is an activity that I gain strength from. I was curious about the physical effects that chemo might have on my appearance. What would I look like if my hair fell out? A series of self-portraits seemed like a good way to begin my healing and give some time and thought to who I am and where I am going in the world.
At the beginning I was uncertain if I would be well enough to complete such an ambitious task. Would the effects of chemo make me too sick to paint? The doctor had assured me that I would be able to work during the six weeks of treatment, but I was very anxious going into it. Nevertheless, I felt it would be helpful to have something to focus my energies on. In reflection it was a good decision. My nature is somewhat restless and without a task to anchor me, I could have easily drifted from one thing to the next.
Doug E. L. Haynes - August 18, 2006
